September is National Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month. I put off writing anything about suicide because it’s not really something I want to discuss. It’s a hard topic and I feel so very inadequate to discuss it. Yet, I want to bring it up because I know I am not alone in those feelings of inadequacy.

If you are a parent of a child with mental illness or addiction, you may have to deal with your child’s desire to end his or her life. Even if your child does not have that struggle, our lives are filled with many hurting people – some of whom are in pain enough to consider taking their own life and some of whom love those who are facing that struggle. How as Christians can we help?

Awareness

The first step is awareness of depression and the concern of suicide.

I once broke down in a Physical Therapy office because of the therapist’s awareness. In response to the “How are you?”, I mentioned it had been a rough weekend as we were dealing with some issues with my son. I was totally unprepared for her question. “Is he threatening self-harm?” She took me so off-guard that the dam just burst.

Later, I asked myself what made her ask. I can only imagine that she had experienced the anguish. Maybe she has slept on a couch so that she could hear if her child got up during the night. Maybe she has had to make sure her child is never home alone. Maybe she has wondered if the pain would become too great. I hope she never had to deal with an actual attempt or, worse, a successful attempt.

You may not have a child struggling with these thoughts, but I guarantee you know or will know someone who does. We all need to be observant of others’ depression and care enough to offer help.

The first thing we can do is be aware of those around us who are hurting. If you have ever been close to someone who has struggled in this way, I think it must give you an extra measure of awareness. If you haven’t, you can always learn to pay attention and listen.

Prevention

I recently read Hope Always: How to be a Force for Life in a Culture of Suicide by Dr. Matthew Sleeth. I found it to be a good read, although I didn’t agree with everything he said. Sleeth wants to equip people to handle the issue of suicide.

One thing I appreciated was his emphasis on starting conversation with people. Don’t be afraid to ask people if they are doing alright, really. If they are depressed, have they thought about hurting themselves? If so, do they have a plan? If they have a plan, do they have the means to accomplish it? Sleeth gives some very practical advice to start conversation and point people to help.

(By the way, if you are not aware, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline has a new number – 988. I am thrilled that access to help can be more easily obtained!)

Elijah and Depression

One of the Bible characters Sleeth mentions is Elijah. As sometimes happens when God is trying to get our attention, Elijah’s story kept popping up in other parts of my life as I was finishing Sleeth’s book.

So, let’s talk about Elijah – a godly man who has successfully undermined the belief in Baal and has been responsible for a great nationwide revival. In 1 Kings 19, we find Elijah running from a threat given by Jezebel. Elijah goes into the wilderness, sits down under a tree, and tells God that he wishes he were dead.

Even though Elijah has given up, God refuses to give up on Elijah. He sends an angel to give him food and encourage rest. Then, when he is physically able, God brings Elijah to Mt Horeb where God shows Elijah His power and also His gentleness. God reminds Elijah that He is in control and that Elijah is not alone – there is still hope! Finally, God sends Elijah to get Elisha to partner with him.

God’s handling of Elijah can serve as a model for us. When there is depression, meet the physical needs for nourishment and rest. Medication can also be beneficial in some cases. (Always be cautious, however, due to some medications inducing suicidal thoughts.)

In addition to meeting physical needs, remember the power of God. If you are struggling, remember that you are not alone – not only is God with you, there are other people who also are on the same journey. If you are walking alongside your child or someone else who is depressed, remind them of God’s desire to make Himself known and to care for them. Take courage! As He was with Elijah, God is still powerful enough to save and gentle enough to care tenderly for the hurting.

Finally, be with people. Don’t do this on your own! We all need support and Christ’s body, the church, is designed to be just that. Elijah had to go get Elisha, but Elisha was listening to God and ready to walk with Elijah – Elijah just needed to ask.

I’m not saying that if your child or anyone else is having suicidal thoughts you should just feed them and point them to Jesus! Please get them professional help!

I hope what you really hear is that God understands depression. He understands the pain your child is experiencing and he understands yours. He loves and cares about both of you.

At one point in time, I remember talking to my son’s therapist and expressing my fears for my son. I will always remember the therapist’s response: ”Even if your son leaves God, God will never leave your son.”

It’s true. God came close to Elijah when Elijah was at his lowest. He literally showed Himself to Elijah. God will make His presence known to you, as well. He will never leave you or forsake you.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39

Be an Elisha

Hopefully, you will never deal with a child who has this particular struggle. No matter your situation, though, you can be an Elisha. Walk with those who are struggling, bearing some of their burden. We can all share responsibility to give people hope. As Christians, we should be in the business of hope.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash