Hagar: Restored Hope in the Wilderness

Remember Hagar, the Egyptian servant to Sarai, taken from her home country to serve other people in foreign lands? What could Hagar possibly teach me as I parent my child with mental health or addiction issues? Well, if you recall, Sarai gives Hagar to Abram as a means to have a child. As odd as it is to our ears, this was apparently commonplace during those times. Then, when Hagar conceives, and Sarai still can’t, Hagar is made to be miserable by her mistress’ treatment of her. So miserable, in fact, that she decides to set out on her own in a land that wasn’t too friendly to that sort of thing. The physical terrain and her limited resources made this an unlikely success. Still, she left.

Scripture tells us that the angel of the Lord found Hagar as she was sitting near a spring of water in the desert. “You shall name him Ishmael”, she is told regarding the unborn child in her womb, “for the Lord has heard of your misery”. Ishmael means “God hears.” His name is her promise. Hagar turns around and gives a name of her own to the Lord, “You are the God who sees me.”

“You are the God who sees me.”

Having a child who struggles with addiction or mental illness can feel lonely. To protect your child and yourself from unfeeling or hurtful responses, you may not share your story with many others. Or, maybe your child’s struggle is fully visible and known, but no one talks about it. Whatever your particular situation, quite often this wilderness parenting is isolating. While others are sharing their own child’s success in school, wins on the football field, or marriage engagement, your heart may be silently breaking at the comparison to your situation. Like He heard Hagar, God hears you. He hears your cries in the wilderness.

Interestingly, God does not promise to eliminate Hagar’s problems, He does not cause a change of heart for Sarai, He does not take away the daily struggle of dealing with a jealous mistress. He only indicates to Hagar that He hears her cries of misery. And, for Hagar, that is enough! When you consider it, it is no wonder that Hagar was able to go back and submit herself following that encounter. The God of the universe noticed her pain and stepped down into her world to acknowledge it!

He does the same for you – and then some! Not only has the God of all creation seen your pain, He literally stepped into our world to do something about it. He became flesh and blood to bring you into His household, not as a servant but as a beloved child. Then He sent His Spirit to live inside you as a comforter and a guide. Oh, yes, God hears your cries in the wilderness. On top of acknowledging your pain, He has made you promises that He will never leave you, that through your struggle your faith will be perfected (made complete), that He will bring good into your life even from the darkest nights, and more.

Trust His promises. Like Hagar, take courage and strength from knowing that God cares for you. Then take the next step forward knowing God’s Spirit is working within you to bring you to a place of peace and comfort.