How to Help Your Child Succeed in College: Considerations for Students with Mental Illness

Our son who struggles with OCD graduated from high school a couple years ago. The following year, he took a “gap” year during which he took a few classes at a local university. This was our way of testing the waters to see how he would handle the stress of college before plunging in the deep end. At the end of that year, he felt ready to tackle college full time. He chose a private Christian school across the country.

Sending a child off to college for the first time is a scary endeavor; sending a child with mental illness off to college for the first time is downright terrifying! With that in mind, I want to share a few things which might help bring the fear down a few notches.

Accommodations

As you look into colleges, I would highly recommend you contact the Disability Services department of each school your child is considering. Speak with the head of the department, not just the student hired to answer the phones. Ask about services offered and how to initiate the process of receiving accommodations. These people will have your child’s back while they are away from home; make sure they are well prepared to do so!

At both the state university our son attended and the private university, I found the Disability Services heads to be wonderfully compassionate people who were looking to provide the best possible help. Each school had different accommodation options which they were able to provide to students. Depending on your specific needs, this could potentially play into a decision as to which school is the best fit.

A public school, obviously, has more funds available to purchase different tools for students. As an example of this, our state school had a pen which could record a lecture when a student stops writing. This allows the student to go back and listen to the “missed” section at a later time. Another school may accomplish the same purpose by engaging a student to take notes given anonymously to your student.

Disability Services should work to protect your student’s privacy. At no point should a professor or other student be told the reason for your child’s particular accommodation. You will work with the department to determine which accommodations will best help your child succeed. The professors, without reference to reason, receive a letter stating what accommodations are to be provided.

The process by which this is done may vary by school. For example, the state school our son attended sends the accommodation list to the professor automatically, while the private university he currently attends requires him to take his accommodation letter to the professor to get it signed. This department believes that the student needs to develop the ability to be their own advocate in life. Initially I did not like that method, but when I heard the reasoning, it made sense. He still does not need to disclose any reasons, but just needs to ask for a signature.

Be aware that you may request accommodations for resources outside of the classroom, as well. Housing is another area in which your student may need resources. Try to consider every arena of life in which your student could need accommodation or support. The Disability Services department may have suggestions regarding possible needs, as well.

There should never be a requirement for your student to justify an accommodation to any staff other than those in the Disability Services department. Those who work in the department will determine needs based on diagnosis, previous accommodations used in school (if they were used), and professional recommendations.

Mental Health Counseling

The second service to look into would be counseling. Many schools offer counseling options either on campus or nearby, often at little or no charge. If you know that your student will definitely utilize that service, find out about availability, education levels, etc. Sometimes there is a great demand for these services and you don’t want to find your student unable to get help if he or she needs it.

In our case, we knew our son would continue to meet virtually with his therapist/mentor and was therefore unlikely to need in-person counseling at least initially. What I did want to make sure of, however, was that if something changed and he needed help, that he would not be waiting a month for an appointment. I found out that the Disability Services department and the deans of the school had the ability to “squeeze” a student in. That was reassuring to us.

Financial Impact

You will also want to research the financial impact if your student needs to drop out mid-term due to mental health issues. Does the school offer any leave of absence for mental health crisis? Is there an insurance option for tuition? Or is there a pro-rated refund depending on date of withdrawal? All of these questions can help you determine your level of comfort and your crisis plan in worst case scenario.

Fear vs Fact

Having said all of that, however, my next point may seem rather ironic. Do not make a decision based in fear. This is a hard lesson to learn, but so important!

As I mentioned, our son was doing well at the local state university. It would have been easy to have him stay local and finish his program at this well respected school – he could live at home and we could keep our eyes on him. However, doing well is not the same thing as thriving. We knew that by going away to a school where others shared his faith, he had an opportunity to build lifelong friendships and to grow in ways which he would not if he stayed home. With that greater reward came greater risk. He wanted to try and we encouraged him, even though in private we were trembling in our boots! We knew there was a possibility things would not work out, but we felt it was worth the risk.

The more we, as parents, give in to fear, the more we model that for our kids. In particular, when dealing with a child who struggles with anxiety issues, it is important to demonstrate courage and the recognition that fears are not facts.

If the facts are that your student does not have the mental illness under control to the level that he or she can cope and function well, then it is safe to assume that no amount of accommodation or counseling services is going to make that transition smooth. In that case, you may want to explore other options with fewer risks.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a great resource (https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Publications-Reports/Guides/Starting-the-Conversation/CollegeGuide ) which provides valuable information. An Authorization for Release of Health Information form you can file with your student’s school is included. Hopefully this has given you some fresh ideas to consider as you send a child off to college or begin the college search!

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash