Being Stretched? Lean in and Breathe

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Dealing with the grief and pain over your child? Feeling like you can never get beyond the struggle? No matter what you do, you don’t make any movement forward – you find yourself right back in the midst of the same grief and the same thinking! As I was getting a massage this week, I couldn’t help but see an analogy to this parenting challenge.

I have been getting some massage therapy – maybe a necessity because I wasn’t so great about taking care of myself during the darkest parts of our storms? To be clear, this isn’t the warm, soothing, sleep-inducing kind of massage. This is the arm on my neck, pushing and pulling my body in ways it was never intended to be moved, she’s-trying-to-kill-me kind of massage.

It is intense. There are many moments when I have to just breathe and remind myself that the therapist is not, in actuality, trying to kill me. She is trained and knows what she is doing – and what she is doing is trying to undo all of the damage I have done to myself by not treating my body the way it was intended.

She is trying to release the tension that I have built up, layer by layer, over the years. She is trying to correct the muscle memory that automatically goes to the posture of protecting from past injury. And, she is trying to make my body more resilient to future stresses.

Starting to see the analogy?

You see, my therapist did not cause my current state of health. She did not clench my jaw or tighten my shoulders. She didn’t tell me to sit slouched in my chair or to stand with lousy posture. None of this was her fault. In fact, if I had turned to her from the beginning, maybe I wouldn’t have had some of these problems or the impact would have been far less.

In the same way, God has not caused our pain. He has not placed the temptation of addiction, whether it be pornography, alcohol, or anything else, in our child’s path. James 1:13 tells us that God is not tempted by evil and He, himself, tempts no one.

God has not created your son or daughter to be plagued with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness. He does not take pleasure in their pain any more than you do.

The Purpose of Pain

That pain that I feel as the therapist stretches my muscles or releases the fascia – that pain is because of the damage that has been done in my “world”. But, that pain also serves a purpose. That pain is the effect of my being stretched and healed.

I have a choice when the pain seems to overwhelm me. I can choose to blame the therapist or I can trust that she has my best interest at heart and is doing what is necessary to make me whole. I can breathe and lean into the pain or I can fight and pull away. Which do you think has the best result for my ultimate health?

Trust the Healer

A massage is a fairly intimate experience. There is vulnerability. Trust for the therapist is essential. Is your relationship with God intimate? Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable in His presence? To trust that He is making you whole through the pain and stretching?

The Result

When the massage is over, I want to stand correctly, to walk properly, to hold myself in such a way that I don’t go back to the same place I started. I pay attention to how I am sitting as I sit here typing. I have been changed. Am I going to forget and slouch on my couch to watch a movie with my kids? Absolutely! Am I going to allow myself to slip back into all of the same habits? No. I want to maintain my feeling of freedom from pain! I want to be able to bend and turn and serve without fighting tight muscles.

“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

My therapist can only partially restore my health. She cannot make me completely whole. Christ, the Great Physician, has ALREADY made me whole. He has overcome the “world” that is beating me down. The work He is doing on me is to help “perfect” or complete my faith. But I am promised wholeness. I am being made perfect. I won’t reach that until the Lord comes again, but I know it is mine.

In the meantime, I hope to use this imagery to remind myself to lean into the Great Physician. And I want to remind you – lean in, don’t fight, and breathe. Let God work on you and make you whole. It will hurt, you already know that! But, you will be stronger and more resilient afterward.

Photo by Daniel Domes on Unsplash

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