Warning Signs: Your Student May Need Help

Over the last several years, there has become a greater awareness of Mental Health on college campuses. This is a great step, since a large percentage of mental illnesses arise during the high school or college years. According to this study (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15939837/), 50% of all lifetime mental illnesses start by age 14 and 75% start by age 24. Additionally, the median age for substance abuse disorders is 20 years old.

As discussed in this post, if you are sending a student with known mental health concerns to college, there are services available to make that transition more likely to succeed. But what signs do you need to be aware of to ensure your child stays healthy – prior issue or not? In this post I want to provide you with tools you can use to determine how your student is doing.

Signs of Mental Health Struggle

Let’s start by looking at signs your student may be having some mental health struggles. Here are some things to look for:

• Changes in Social Behavior – Whether it is isolating from others, talking less openly with you, not involving themselves in the social functions they have always enjoyed, or hanging with a different group of people than historically, any change should be kept in mind.
• Changes in Physical Health – Not sleeping or sleeping too much, not eating or eating too much, etc can be indicators of poor mental health.
• Changes in Academic Performance – If your formerly good student is performing uncharacteristically in classes, this is a red flag.
• Expressions of hopelessness or self-harm

These articles are good resources and more fully explore warning signs: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness, https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-01-30/how-parents-can-identify-mental-health-problems-in-their-college-kids.

Signs of Possible Addiction

College can also be a time of experimentation with drugs and alcohol. Depending on the school, there can be a culture of drinking or of other drug use. And, it is not just peer pressure. For some, the release from depression or anxiety found in these substances can be a draw.

The warning signs for substance abuse are much the same as for mental health problems. There are a couple additional signs to be watching for, however.

• Changes in Physical Appearance – Bloodshot eyes or constricted / dilated pupils, drastic weight loss, long sleeves even in heat are all potential signs of an issue.
• Blowing through Finances – If your child is depleting their bank account rapidly or asking for money often, find out what is happening.

Depending on the substance abused, there are other signs as well. Check out this article (https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/drug-addiction/signs-drug-addiction/) to see further signs according to the type of substance being used. For example, is your student throwing up every time they come home to visit? This could be a sign of withdrawal.

As a side note – if your child is in addiction, they will likely lie to you about it. This is not because your child is a bad person; addiction is self-serving and the addict does what is necessary to continue to use. If your child has an explanation for what it is that concerns you, hold that loosely. Revisit it if something else just doesn’t feel right.

Finally, to wrap up, I am sharing a video put out by Treehouse Recovery which identifies what to look for if you are concerned your child is using drugs.

Love First

Hopefully, you won’t need any of this, but I want to provide resources to help you navigate mental illness and addiction. None of this is meant to be a comprehensive list, rather a place to start. Keep in mind it is better to offend your child by asking questions than it is to later regret not mentioning something that could have potentially saved or changed the course of their life. The most important tool you have, however, is love.

In asking your child if there is a problem, make sure you are using words, tone, and body language that express your love and concern. Let them know that you are there for them. Walk gently.

If they admit to a struggle, let them know you are there to help and to get them any needed resources. Let them know you have confidence that they can conquer. Walk gently.

In having a conversation, focus on your child’s needs and pain. Your own fears, frustrations, feelings of betrayal, etc can come later. Walk gently. Love and compassion come first.